Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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