Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
