Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
