your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
