She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
