trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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