Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
