watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
