it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
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Mom said you looked used
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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