Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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