i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
