i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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