No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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