im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
