She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm gonna fight the coyote
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
