She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize