white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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