YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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