We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
