And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
