morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
