I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
