That's intense
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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