Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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