I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
