If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize