I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
