Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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