dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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