Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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