I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I party with great urgency now.
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