yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You made out with two different species that night
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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