When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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