It's like God shit irony all over that family
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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