he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
