I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
