i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
