I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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