Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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