this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
