Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
