I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
