You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
