Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum