You just made me feel so damn special
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
