I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
