She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
