I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
