I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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