Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
