Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
