I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize