Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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