The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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