One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
