I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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