I wanna bring you to show and tell
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
