I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
