Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
