So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
