You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando